A Good Parent

The sermon on parenting was hard, but so good.

I went into the sanctuary somewhat nervous about the topic, but trying to keep my mind focused on what I could take away from it. I am a mother who can’t mother her child, but because I hope and pray that God would give me a child that I can parent one day I want more wisdom about godly parenting. I saw this sermon as a learning opportunity for the future-and it was, but it was so much more.

It was more than just learning about how I could be a better parent. It was about how I have the perfect parent already.  The One who is wise in everything He does.  The One who is always right in His discipline. The One who truly loves unconditionally.

A woman at church read her own Psalm about her road to parenthood. A road that seems to have taken a horrifying detour. The one where the doctor turns to you during what should be one of the happiest moments of your life with that look and those words, “I’m sorry.” Her story was all too familiar to me and I finally broke down. Her words sent me back to that room where I saw Levi for the last time. She was still alive-barely holding on I guess, but she looked so strong to me.

As my mind went back and forth from memory to reality and the worship music started to play I felt His love so deeply.

“Lord I need you. Oh I need you. Every hour I need You.“

It seems like my dad can fix anything. I can take just about any broken item to him and he can put it back together. I remember as a little girl I’d run to him with tears in my eyes, urgency in my voice and my broken toy in hand.  He’d be in his recliner, and no matter what it was I had brought to him he would put it back together.

But ever since I lost Levi the thing I need fixed is my broken heart. The pieces are shattered. It seems impossible to put them back together. I need my Heavenly Father to restore what has been broken.

“Lord I need you. Oh I need you…“

Those lyrics ran across the screen while my heart felt like it was breaking all over again. And still I felt His comfort. Just as a good father comforts his daughter through heart break, our Heavenly Father comforts us in the wisest, most loving, perfect and unconditional way. He takes our broken hearts and puts them back together.

He’s my Father. My perfect Dad.  And oh, how I need Him.

-Ashley

 

Lyrics from “Lord, I need you” by Matt Maher