I’m really going to do it this time.
I’m deleting my Facebook, and I’d like to share my reasons with you.
People keep telling me that I’ll blink and Edmund is going to be a year older. I cannot believe how true this is. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing this little boy home from the hospital and now he’s already seven months old. I don’t know how it happened so fast. While I have seen so much good come from being a part of Facebook I feel that I may be missing things with Edmund by continuing to be a part of it. After I lost Levi I began posting articles about miscarriage and grief and sharing my life’s trials on this blog. Facebook became a mission field to me. I wanted to share that miscarriage is common and painful. I wanted this awful experience that 1 in 4 women face to be talked about openly because it is a real grief. I started receiving messages from several women telling me that they too had gone through a miscarriage. It was a wonderful thing to be connecting to other women even if the circumstances of the connection were painful. Levi gave me a good reason to stay on Facebook and Edmund has given me a good reason to leave it.. Even ten seconds of scrolling through my newsfeed is ten seconds that I lost with my son. I know I’m not going to be able to witness every second of Edmund’s life, but often times after scrolling my newsfeed for twenty seconds, reading three status updates and clicking ‘like’ four times I’m left thinking, “Am I really present? Am I fully here in this moment with my son?” I just can’t be faced with that anymore. I look at him and I just don’t want to miss anything. Levi was a reason for staying; Edmund is a reason for leaving.
This season that I am in is crazy. At the end of the day I often feel like I’ve gone nonstop, but I always seem to have time for Facebook. Even scrolling through the newsfeed for a few seconds is a lot when you really add it all up in a day. I could be using this time to spend with the Lord, with friends and family or just having time for myself. Time is precious…especially right now and I need to be using this time I have for more than scrolling through my newsfeed.
Okay, this reason has left me extremely embarrassed. I’m addicted to Facebook. I am. I cannot tell you how many times a day I check Facebook. Most days Facebook is the first thing I do after checking the time on my phone in the morning. It has been this way for years. It’s a problem and I need to cut it off entirely. The moment that I told myself that I was actually going to do this I felt so much freedom. It felt like a weight had been lifted for a few seconds thinking about no longer using Facebook. And then the excuses came flooding in and this time I held on to the freeing feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I have had many days after making this decision that I’ve wanted to back out. This really isn’t easy for me and I think that is all the more reason to cut myself off from the Facebook world.
These reasons and many more are what is taking me away from the Facebook world. I won’t lie to you and say that I am not feeling a little anxious about this. I am. I am worried about how hard this is going to be for me, but I know deep down this is good. This is what I am supposed to do. Please pray for me. Please check in with me as I transition myself out. It may take some time to completely disconnect myself because of the many years of information that I need to collect before hitting the actual delete button, but as of January 1, 2016 I’m done scrolling, updating my status, posting, and clicking ‘like’.
I want to stay in touch with many of you. Facebook has provided a way of knowing what is going on in a person’s life. From engagements and birthdays to what’s for dinner that night my newsfeed is filled with the big and little events in my 407 Facebook friends’ lives. I still would like to stay in connected with you so please send me an e-mail or text with a way to contact you as I will still be checking my Facebook messages from time to time before I leave Facebook completely.
Goodbye, Facebook. It’s been real-ish.